her 15 most recent ramblings. . .

[ << 15 ]

[ 07 . 12 . 02 ]
22.32	i am going on about my normal life, because i must. perhaps i even embrace it more easily now. but don't for a second think that i wouldn't drop everything in a heartbeat to come to you if you called my name.
[ 03 . 14 . 02 ]
00.28	[ a small red flower seems to have lit upon my face where it feels my chapped lips belong. ] i want to be strong. i want to feel every muscle in my body as it pulls and flexes. when i jog it is as if a stream of my self pulls out behind me, trailing like the tail of a kite. i don't even notice until i stop and feel it rush up behind me and back into my body, pushing out the lightheadedness i was unaware of. (29 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)
[ 02 . 20 . 02 ]
22.13	[ warmup ] i am bored overall. time to rewire my brain. it's almost time to take a flying leap, i need to stretch. (6 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)
[ 02 . 14 . 02 ]
17.25	[ i hate this fucking holiday ] let's just remind everyone that was already lonely, by screaming in their faces, that they are alone. let's pressure everyone that isn't alone into spending money lest their significant other believe that they don't care for them. i can't remember a feb 14 that i liked. standing on either side of the fence. agenda: swim for 45 minutes eat a garden burger and some of favorite wine go to a strange opera at the high school proceed to get sloppy drunk. (7 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)
01.30	[ tapping maple trees ] sometimes i feel a song squeezing me squeezing out a golden sweet sugary syrup from me if i get enough can i fill it into a sparkling mold what will i have someone else all my hopes and fears and dreams something beautiful (enlighten me.)
01.25	sometimes i compulsively hit buttons on my computer that will cause it to make annoying sounds. (1 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)
[ 02 . 01 . 02 ]
00.54	[ go ahead and be angry, i'm learning to take it ] and as i began to shake because i was becoming upset, yes, shake more than i usually do, i took a deep breath and smiled and just listened to all of the nervous energy swirling around inside of me. instead of letting it push me wherever it may, i trapped it and just rode its rage. a thrill that takes your breath away, like being swung around forcefully at some amusement park. and thus i was amused. maybe i'll never stop myself from feeling anything, truth be told, i don't want to, but maybe i'll learn to control my tumbling reaction to it, maybe i'll stop letting it all matter, maybe i'll let every last thing knock the breath out of me instead. (1 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)
[ 01 . 19 . 02 ]
01.08	[ so,, ] Poll #16542 dildos Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 74 girls using dildos... View Answers huge fucking turn on 20 (27.0%) i love them, i use them all of the time 11 (14.9%) a mild turn on 8 (10.8%) i don't have a lot of other choices at this point 3 (4.1%) she's gotta do what she's gotta do 18 (24.3%) if i had to 2 (2.7%) not much of a turn on 4 (5.4%) what the fuck has she got to do that for when she's got me? 6 (8.1%) gross 2 (2.7%) (3 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)
[ 01 . 13 . 02 ]
12.01	[ silence and chosen boredom ] tiny tiny white flecks are falling from the sky, and the trees are thrashing madly. i don't want to leave my room. i haven't wanted to leave my room in ages. i don't want to talk to anyone. i don't want to be social. i don't want to do anything. i don't want to go anywhere. i want to hybernate. i want to be underwater with only the sound of my exhale and the watersong. (3 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)
[ 01 . 10 . 02 ]
20.43	i want to go back to neverland. (3 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)
[ 01 . 08 . 02 ]
01.50	[ reading again.. ] there is the relief of finally not being alone, and the relief of being alone when no one can take anything away from you. that is exactly how i feel, and funny that i felt it in the same order it was written. this was the happiest she had ever been in her life, if happiness is waking with a start of joy for the day, feeling each moment in every cell of your being, and going to sleep at night with a mind like a clear moonlit sky. just some more words. not my favorite book by her, but these quotes made it worth it. (enlighten me.)
[ 01 . 07 . 02 ]
22.16	will someone please nurse me back to health? (enlighten me.)
[ 01 . 03 . 02 ]
20.47	someone will (2 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)
[ 12 . 19 . 01 ]
13.43	[ sorry, you'll have to get in line... ] you know what? i like being me. i like my life, no matter how stressed i may feel sometimes. i like the way my hair sticks out at a strange angle. maybe i just want to be meg ryan when i grow up. i am really starting to appreciate my body, rather than spending all of my time wanting to change it. i try to jog every day out of love of how it makes me feel, not with the desire to change how i look. life is good. i'm going on vacation in 6 days. (5 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)
[ 12 . 14 . 01 ]
02.13	i am sick of this shit. (3 people have attempted to enlighten me. | enlighten me.)